Table Talk
By Linda Bruce from Cape Pulpit
Jesus often reclined at a table where
he was locked in conversation with the rich, the poor, church leaders, those
who were influential as well as those who were regarded by society as
insignificant. These conversations reveal people’s hearts, attitudes and
relationships.
Jesus’ conversations teach us much
about communication. Please join me at
the table & let’s talk more about the importance of communication. But before we start, we must remember to
laugh at our shortcomings because then we won’t be so hard on ourselves or
others when we don’t communicate to well.
You Have A Voice
In the movie, The Devil Wears Prada,
Meryl Streep portrays the ruthless and cynical, Miranda Priestly, one of New
York’s biggest magazine editors. This boss
is not for the faint-hearted. Life
according to Miranda is that others have no voice and no opinion. Miranda Priestly: No, no, that wasn't a question.
Although the movie is only fiction, most
of us have experienced circumstances where our voice wasn’t allowed to be
heard.
The purpose of this article is to
encourage you to make it your life-goal to find your own voice and develop your
communication skills in order to become not only an excellent communicator in
Christian media but also in your personal life.
Why? Communication is about
relationships and to God your relationship with Him and those around you is
vital.
Communication = participation
Communication = work & effort
Now let’s be honest, who wants to
work! But God expects us to make the most of the gift of life that He has given
us. I use the word, FaithWorks, which
means that when faith and works combine, we do God’s will for our lives which
is to become all He has created us to be so that we can be His effective witnesses
to the world. James 2:21-24 (The Message): Isn’t it obvious that faith and
works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works
are “works of faith”?
“Communication works for those who work at it.” (John
Powell)
Step
1
Study the Word and get to know God’s
voice. This is an exciting and rewarding life-long journey about getting to
know God.
Step
2
Identify the many voices that impacted
your life in the past. These voices had, and perhaps still have an influence on
your own voice. · Have I discovered my own voice or am I echoing or mimicking someone else’s voice?
· How do I allow others to communicate with me?
o
I
should find voices that have a positive influence in my life.
o
As
a warrior of God I must be brave not to allow voices of discouragement or disappointment
make me believe the lies of the enemy that try to break me down. What the Lord says in His Word is who I am, my
identity is in God’s opinion of me.
o
I
have to discern carefully – there are many voices that want to distract me and
I have to set boundaries. Yes! Set
boundaries, as difficult as it might be. (Recommended book: Boundaries by John Townsend
& Henry Cloud)
Step
3
Evaluate how you communicate with
others.
o
Do
I build or bully?
o
Am
I silent when I should speak up?
o
Do
I interrupt when I should shut up?
o
Do
I believe I don’t have a voice (inferiority), or do I think mine is the only
voice (arrogance)?
o
When
a problem needs to be addressed, do I have the courage to speak to the person,
or do I avoid the conversation hoping it’ll go away, or do I discuss it behind
that person’s back (cowardice)? Do I know the difference between seeking advice
& counsel vs. gossip?
o
Do
my words make someone else look bad in order to make myself look good?
o
Do
I apply the golden rule: if I don’t have anything good to say, I should rather keep
quiet?
o
Are
my words a blessing, comforting, do they bring healing?
“But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you
be consumed by one another!” (Gal 5:14-15 NKJV)
Step
4
In the process of finding, discovering
and developing my voice, I have to remember that others also have a voice.
“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your
communication skills so that when an important occasions arise, you will have
the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect
other people.” ( Jim Rohn)
Every word counts whatever form of communication you use, be it printed, spoken or sung. Therefore, as someone working in the Christian media industry I have to know what areas of communication I need to improve on because once a word has been published or spoken, it can’t be undone.
Step
1
Ask God to guide you on your journey. He is the Great Communicator. Following Him is how we are able to think and
act more like our loving Creator.
When God appeared to Moses at the
burning bush He called him to the task of leading the children of Israel out of
Egyptian bondage. We are called to the
same task today. In response, Moses gave
excuses as to why he did not think he was the man for the job, one of which
was, "I am slow of speech and slow of tongue" (Ex 4:10). Moses claims that he is not an eloquent
speaker but God is not moved by this objection. He already knows the inability of
those He calls but He is able to make up for anyone's shortcomings. He promises to be with Moses and arranges for
Aaron to be Moses' mouthpiece.
Moses was going to do what God wanted
him to do, one way or another, because God called him to do it. Will we opt for
an Aaron, or will we take up the task of becoming excellent communicators for
God?
Queen Esther accepted the call. Esther chapter 7 tells the dramatic story of Queen
Esther’s conversation with the king in which she saved her people. She didn’t shy away from her responsibility
even though she knew it could cost her life.
Step
2
To grow further, listen to yourself
i.e. how you speak to others. Learn from
other good communicators and watch the non-verbal messages you get from other
people when you communicate with them. It
will tell you whether you are communicating effectively or not.
Step 3
To be an effective communicator stay focussed
& don’t be distracted.
This commercial features an innovative
eye-tracking billboards. Talk about staying focussed!
Speak Up & Be Heard
Let’s get really practical. Learn to speak clearly. Get hold of exercises for breathing, learn how
to use the diaphragm correctly, enunciate clearly, place initial & final
consonants, project your voice, do jaw & tongue exercises, forward placing
etc.
More importantly than clear speech is
to remember that what you say is important but HOW you say it makes the
difference! I guess, WHEN you say
it, is just as important.
Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word
before you let it fall. (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.)
Me & We
God is a God of diversity. In communication we have to take into account
that people have different cultures, attitudes, personalities, habits, desires,
experiences, expectations and ways of approaching life. An effective
communicator understands that we are all different.
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are
all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a
guide to our communication with others.” - Tony Robbins
Listen!
If you’re a Bill Cosby fan, you’ll
thoroughly enjoy this one.
“There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn
to listen.” - Christopher Morley
Your Voice Amplified
Have a rewarding journey as you discover your own voice, as you allow others to have a voice, as you discern carefully between the voices that want to influence you and most of all, as you listen to God’s voice.
Use
your voice to change your world by changing your words. Being an effective communicator will change
your life for the better. Go for it!
“Proverbs 18:21 (The Message) - Words kill, words give
life; they’re either poison or fruit - you choose.”
The movie, The King’s Speech tells the
story of the man who became King George VI. After his brother abdicates, George
('Bertie') reluctantly assumes the throne. Plagued by a dreaded stammer and
considered unfit to be king, Bertie engages the help of an unorthodox speech
therapist named Lionel Logue. Through a set of unexpected techniques, and as a
result of an unlikely friendship, Bertie is able to find his voice and boldly
lead the country through war.
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Some
Communication Bible verses
Colossians 4:6 ESV
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt,
so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Proverbs 18:13 ESV
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly
and shame.
James 1:19 ESV
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be
quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but
only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give
grace to those who hear.
Proverbs 18:2 ESV
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in
expressing his opinion.
Proverbs 15:1 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs
up anger.
Proverbs 12:18 ESV
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Psalm 19:14 ESV
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my
heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
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